As I mentioned a few posts ago, Vik and I never had any doubt that we wanted to find out the gender of this baby as soon as possible. We are not by nature very patient people, and neither one of us is a huge fan of surprises. Needless to say, we were very happy that our baby boy decided to cooperate at our BIG ultrasound and let us in on his secret.
I have since been giving some thought to whether we made the right choice in finding out the gender, and I have to say, for us, we totally did. And, I say that not because we are now relieved of the burden of using “s/he” to refer to our Little One and are no longer confined to the yellow/green section of the Macy’s baby clothing department. Rather, for me the most wonderful (and least anticipated) benefit of finding out the gender has been that it has really brought home the reality not only of this pregnancy, but also of all that will come after.
I no longer think of our Little One as some abstract baby, but rather he is our son. I can now imagine what he might look like (hopefully, my hottie husband!), and the things we might do together. I can more easily picture the challenges we might face once he is no longer an infant but rather a little boy or teenager (I cannot yet bring myself to think about him heading off to college or getting married!). In short, I am now able to build an image in my mind of what our future as a family might look like (mindful, of course, of the fact that it is very likely that absolutely nothing will turn out as I expect).
This wave of reality did not roll in gradually over the course of the weeks following our BIG ultrasound. No, it came crashing down on me the moment the words “Congratulations, you are having a boy!” landed on my ears. In fact, when I, a person about as unsentimental as they come, heard that I was having a son, I felt such a sudden and overwhelming connection to, and love for, the little being inside of me that I started sobbing right there on the ultrasound exam table. If that was my reaction to finding out his gender, I can only imagine now how intense my reaction will be when I (finally!) hold him in my arms for the first time . . .