… if I am going to be completely honest about it, I have to admit that I often find myself wondering what in the world I’ve gotten myself into.
Up until very recently, my pregnancy hormones had been very kind to me. My skin has remained clear, my hair thick and shiny, and my mood has been generally upbeat. I have not been prone to mood swings nor have I been weepy, hyper-sensitive, or (unreasonably) bitchy.
Well, in the past several weeks, things have started to change — I can literally feel the hormones surging through my body. Although my skin and hair still look great (which, of course, is the most important thing), I have been nesting like crazy (our closets have never been so well-organized) and have also become increasingly (and overly) emotional. I almost don’t recognize this woman who is suddenly having overblown emotional reactions to relatively neutral occurrences, is crying frequently and for no apparent reason, and is just generally anxious and overwhelmed.
Don’t get me wrong, I am unequivocally overjoyed at the thought of bringing my Little One home … but if I am going to be completely honest about it, I have to admit that I often find myself wondering what in the world I’ve gotten myself into.
I worry constantly about whether I will be a good mom, whether the baby will be healthy, and how the cost of this endeavor will affect our long-term financial plans.
I question whether I am reading the right books, buying the right products, and learning the right skills.
I am scared of how my body (and psyche) will react to prolonged sleep deprivation.
I worry whether I will be able to breastfeed successfully, how I will cope with the isolation of being holed up in our townhouse with a newborn, and how in the world I will balance a demanding career with the demands of motherhood.
Most of all, I worry that because of all of this (i.e., the sleep deprivation, the demanding career, the financial pressure, and my general lack of knowledge), I will simply be unable to be the sweet, loving, and infinitely patient mother my precious baby deserves …